Every sales team has one.
The rep who moves through the CRM like a raccoon in a pantry — silent, chaotic, and absolutely willing to steal anything not nailed down.
You log in Monday morning and notice a lead you’ve been nurturing for six months is suddenly tagged with someone else’s initials.
Interesting.
You scroll.
You investigate.
You become a forensic CRM analyst.
There it is:
A note added at 2:14 AM.
“Spoke with prospect. Great conversation.”
You know for a fact this prospect hasn’t spoken to a human being since 2019.
You confront the rep.
They smile with the confidence of someone who has never known shame.
“Oh weird! Must’ve been a glitch.”
There is no glitch.
There is only treachery.
They hover near your desk when you’re on calls.
They “accidentally” join your Zoom meetings.
They ask, “Hey, what’s the status on that deal?” with the same tone a fox uses when asking a hen how her day is going.
You lock down your accounts like Fort Knox.
You password‑protect your notes.
You start speaking in vague riddles during team meetings.
Leadership says, “We’re all one team!”
Sure.
And sharks are just dolphins with boundary issues.
Then — the moment of triumph.
You close the deal.
You hit submit.
You feel the ancestors cheering.
The sneaky rep messages you:
“Congrats! I was working that one too!”
You add them to your list.
Right under John from Sales.